What Do You See

Written by: Paige Tadpole
Date: May 18, 2010
Time: 10:00 PM

"What Do You See"

What do you see when you look at me? Do you see someone whose eyes are filled with sadness, a heart that is forever broken? Or do you see someone whose smile is as bright as the sun, and a soul that delights in love?

What do you see when you look at me? Do you see a life full of sin and darkness? Or do you see a servant for God who lives to share the love and forgiveness of God.

What do you when you look at me? Do you see someone who has nothing left to live for, a dull, empty vessel whose only living the motions? Or do you see someone who tries to make the best of every situation, who is just trying to survive this confusing life.

When you look at me, you could see my every imperfection and mistake. You could find the blackness called depression that tries to take over my soul. You could condemn and judge for all my faults and failures.

When you look at me, you could see how much love I have give. You could see the passions in life that make my heart burn. You could see my heart in ever ready worship to God. You could see my light shining bright in this dark world.

There are many things you could see in me. Whatever you may find, good or bad, is me. God made me uniquely different, there's no other me. You can judge me, you can praise me. But nothing will change the person I am.

WHY

Written by: Paige Tadpole (Bullington at the time)
Date: October 1, 2006
Time: 8:10 AM

(This is something I wrote shortly after my Mama died. This is what my heart was feeling and trying to express at the time. It is entitled- Why.)

WHY

Why is a question that is so frequently asked, but the question that seems to go unanswered. So many people, in their pain, fight through the unknowing darkness around themselves; trying to catch a glimpse of the light. When failing to find the truth their hearts become bitter and begin to die.

Why, oh why must this pain come? Why doesn't it ever leave? Why is it always there, torturing me? Why is my heart so cold? It is the bitterness that courses through me, eating away at me, destroying me. Why, oh why must this pain come?

Why can't we hide from the pain, push it away, never to feel it again? Never to be touched by it's icy grip. We try to hide, but we can never escape. The pain always finds me and exposes me. But I hide the pain from others, put on a mask of happiness. But I am still lifeless, dull, in pain, and no one ever sees.

THE DARKNESS

This is something I wrote after my Mama died, and I was really depressed and sad. I want to start sharing some of my writings here on my blog. I can't say that the idea is mine. My aunt Andrea does the same thing, and I hope she won't mind me doing the same. Things I write about come from my heart, and what my heart was feeling at the time. They are not professional writings nor do they rhyme. They are just very honest feelings from my heart. I have already posted one before this one that is called Came To You . This one is called The Darkness. I will always continue to write, and I will find some more that I have written and share them with you.

THE DARKNESS
There are moments like these that I begin to believe that my life has no purpose, no meaning, and that I was put here by mistake. It seems when I plunge through my misery to make it to the other side; the tunnel always becomes longer, darker, and I am afraid. Afraid that I will never see the light again.
It is for the saving of my soul that I must keep walking through this life of misery and pain. When will it all come to an end? When will my heart stop suffering as I plunge through the darkness? When will my soul be at peace? These questions haunt me, torment me, and I must walk alone...never knowing the answers.

CAME TO YOU

CAME TO YOU
written by me after my mama died (2006)

I came to you, heartbroken and alone. I took your hand in mine, warm to the touch. I assured you everything was going to be alright, even though my heart did not feel that same reassurance. I told you countless times that I loved you with all of my being, but even that didn't bring you to me. I lay with you, cried for you, laughed for you, trying to be strong for you. But in the end you still went away.

I came to your side once more. This time I was afraid, afraid of the unknown. You were so far away yet still there. This time your skin, cold to the touch. I wept for you, tried to hide my pain behind a mask, and felt such unbearable sadness. Why did you have to leave? Why did you leave me alone in the world?

I came to you again, but you were not there...

My New Blog

Howdy! Did I just say howdy? LOL! Wow, that was kinda strange. :)

I know it's been a long time since I've posted anything, and I am really sorry about that. Sometimes I just feel like my life isn't interesting enough to share with you so I don't post anything. I should post more matters of my heart, but I also feel a lot of the time that would annoy people so I refrain from doing so.

But I am here today to tell you about something I am working on- my new BLOG! And you're thinking, "seriously..ANOTHER blog for Paige who barely even writes on this one?" Yes I am afraid so. My new blog is a cooking blog. I don't claim to be a great cook so please don't get the idea that I am better than most. Because I am NOT! But I really enjoy cooking and trying out new recipes. So I thought that I would share them with you. At least it's a fun project for me to do.

So maybe once in awhile you will find a recipe that looks yummy to you that you just HAVE to try it. Click here to find my new blog entitled- "Paige's Recipe Corner". I know the title is very corny..but that is just who I am. Paige who makes up corny titles lol. :) Go check it out and let me know what you think about it. Follow me if you want, and leave me some comments on how you like or don't like it. Thanks! :D

I hope everyone is having a fantastic day!
Talk to you later!

~Paige~

My New Online Avon Store!

Hello my dear friends! I wanted to give you an update about what's newest in my life. I am now selling Avon! :) Exciting, right? I am really excited about it, and I like to tell everyone I know. I have always LOVED Avon products, and have ordered/used them for years. I have always been 100% completely satisfied and happy, and I know you will be, too. If you live close to me ( I live in Blountstown, FL) I can give you a brochure to look through. But I know many of my friends and family do not live close by, and Avon now has where you can order online. The products will be sent directly to you. Please stop by my Avon store when you have some free time, and take a look at all the wonderful products. Click here to be taken to the Avon store. Also, Christmas is coming up soon, and Avon has gifts for everyone on your gift list. Right now we are in Campaign 26, the LAST one before Christmas. Thank you so much for continuing to be a faithful reader and your time. Hope you have a wonderful day! God Bless!
Paige Tadpole

He will sit as a Refiner and Purifier of Silver!

Hello! I wanted to share something with you today that I received in my e-mail from a dear friend of mine. Sometimes we go through trials in life, and we don't understand why we go through them. All we know is that God has a purpose even if we never know while we here on this earth. I know life can be very discouraging at times, and when I read this e-mail, it lifted me up. It gave me strength and the assurance that God knows exactly what He is doing. Here is what I hope will help you today! I hope you have a wonderful day, and know that Jesus loves you!
God bless,
Paige Tadpole

Malachi 3:3 says:
'He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.'

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: 'He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.' She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed..

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, 'How do you know when the silver is fully refined?'

He smiled at her and answered, 'Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it.'

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire , remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.=