A song I wrote

Hello! :) I hope all my friends are having a wonderful day! I wanted to share something with you that I had almost forgotten about. It was a song I wrote when I was eight years old. It was my very first song that I wrote, and I still remember it to this day. Just thought it would be neat to let you see into my eight year old brain. :)

I have always loved music! Always, always, always!!! I can listen to music for hours either for fun or worshiping God. Nothing moves me more than music can. Growing up I wrote several songs (all Christian), and I will try to post each one as I find them. But this one has always been stuck in my brain. I guess that's because my parents made me and my siblings sing it a billion times lol! Anyway here it is. :)

FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD

For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, to die for me and take my sin away. I love Him more and more. I should have died on that tree, but Jesus did it for me. He's so sweet to me. I love Him so, so much.

So yeah, that's it. Kinda short, but then again I was eight years old. :) Until next time, God bless!
Paige

Cleaning out!

Hi to all my friends who keep up with me and this blog! :) It's been awhile since I posted something, but I haven't forgotten about it. Just seems sometimes that I have nothing to post about. Anyway I hope you are having a fantastic wonderful day!

I am the type of person that can't stand clutter and mess. When my house is a mess it makes me go crazy. When my relationships with the people I love are a mess it makes me go crazy. I am the type who needs orderliness in my life. When things start getting out of control I freak out, I become depressed, and I'm just not happy. All I can do with the relationships in my life is do what Jesus wants me to do, and leave the rest up to God. But physical mess and clutter in my life is all my fault. I have really come to realize this lately, and I knew I needed to do something about it.

My fellow blogger and facebook friend, Bethany Kerr has inspired me to take some actions to take that clutter out of my life. You can find her blog here. Today I started my very first day of cleaning out. And I thought I would blog about it, and challenge you also to start cleaning out all that junk you don't need anymore. It just weighs us down in life, and face it, we all have too much stuff. I know I do, and I want to give back. God gives us all so much, and we are all hoarders to a certain degree. Cleaning out just makes us happier in the long run.

So let me show you what my husband and I did today. We cleaned out our clothes. He mainly focused on his closet, and I focused on my dresser drawers and closet. You wouldn't believe all we got rid of. I am an emotional hoarder, I guess if you would call me that. If something has sentimental value to it, I can't part with it. But I am really trying to work on that, and just realize that it's all just stuff. One day it's all going to burn anyway, and we can't take anything to Heaven. That's what I remind myself when I start to panic about throwing something out that has sentimental value to me.

I have kept bags and bags of clothes, and several weeks ago I cleaned out some, but I didn't clean out near enough. So today I did the rest. I didn't set myself a minimum or maximum amount of clothes I would throw out. I went through every single piece and asked myself, "Do I need this?" "Does it fit me?" "Do I ever wear it?"

So all in all I threw out 94 articles of clothes, 2 pair of pantyhose, 1 hat, 1 belt, and a pair of crocs (that I didn't even ever like but kept them "in case I need them one day" HA!)
Jeremiah threw out 42 articles of clothes, 2 hats, and 2 welding sleeves.
We also got rid of 2 curtains that were in my closet.

All in all we got rid of 147 things!!! WOW!!! And that's just on our first day of cleaning out. It's amazing how much stuff we can keep that just clutters up our home and lives.

I hope that this gives you some inspiration to also consider what you keep and maybe let some things go that you are not using and probably never will. Hope you all have an amazing day! God bless!

Paige


Here are some of the clothes we threw out.


Here are all the clothes we threw out.



Here all the clothes bagged up and ready to go to the thrift store.

SUNSHINE

Written by: Paige Tadpole
Date: April 13, 2009
Title: Sunshine

I wrote this poem about my Mama one day when I my heart was breaking. She used to sing "You Are My Sunshine" when I was a little girl so that's the inspiration behind this poem. My siblings and I all had our own song and this was my song. Now whenever I hear it, I think of her and when she used to sing it to me.


SUNSHINE

There are so many times when the memories of you fill every corner in my mind. There aren't any words to describe the feeling when I think of you. Your smile lights up my soul like sunshine on a dreary day. But then your smile is taken away with the sudden realization that you are gone.

You said sunshine makes the gray clouds disappear. You promised blue skies on a sunny day. To you I was your sunshine, but without you I cannot shine. Please come back where you belong that we may shine together.

You sang to me when I was a child about the sunshine and the rain, comforting me when I was scared or in pain. You held me, rocked me, and I always knew I was deeply loved by the touch of your hands. But you are gone now, leaving me to find my own way.

What Do You See

Written by: Paige Tadpole
Date: May 18, 2010
Time: 10:00 PM

"What Do You See"

What do you see when you look at me? Do you see someone whose eyes are filled with sadness, a heart that is forever broken? Or do you see someone whose smile is as bright as the sun, and a soul that delights in love?

What do you see when you look at me? Do you see a life full of sin and darkness? Or do you see a servant for God who lives to share the love and forgiveness of God.

What do you when you look at me? Do you see someone who has nothing left to live for, a dull, empty vessel whose only living the motions? Or do you see someone who tries to make the best of every situation, who is just trying to survive this confusing life.

When you look at me, you could see my every imperfection and mistake. You could find the blackness called depression that tries to take over my soul. You could condemn and judge for all my faults and failures.

When you look at me, you could see how much love I have give. You could see the passions in life that make my heart burn. You could see my heart in ever ready worship to God. You could see my light shining bright in this dark world.

There are many things you could see in me. Whatever you may find, good or bad, is me. God made me uniquely different, there's no other me. You can judge me, you can praise me. But nothing will change the person I am.

WHY

Written by: Paige Tadpole (Bullington at the time)
Date: October 1, 2006
Time: 8:10 AM

(This is something I wrote shortly after my Mama died. This is what my heart was feeling and trying to express at the time. It is entitled- Why.)

WHY

Why is a question that is so frequently asked, but the question that seems to go unanswered. So many people, in their pain, fight through the unknowing darkness around themselves; trying to catch a glimpse of the light. When failing to find the truth their hearts become bitter and begin to die.

Why, oh why must this pain come? Why doesn't it ever leave? Why is it always there, torturing me? Why is my heart so cold? It is the bitterness that courses through me, eating away at me, destroying me. Why, oh why must this pain come?

Why can't we hide from the pain, push it away, never to feel it again? Never to be touched by it's icy grip. We try to hide, but we can never escape. The pain always finds me and exposes me. But I hide the pain from others, put on a mask of happiness. But I am still lifeless, dull, in pain, and no one ever sees.

THE DARKNESS

This is something I wrote after my Mama died, and I was really depressed and sad. I want to start sharing some of my writings here on my blog. I can't say that the idea is mine. My aunt Andrea does the same thing, and I hope she won't mind me doing the same. Things I write about come from my heart, and what my heart was feeling at the time. They are not professional writings nor do they rhyme. They are just very honest feelings from my heart. I have already posted one before this one that is called Came To You . This one is called The Darkness. I will always continue to write, and I will find some more that I have written and share them with you.

THE DARKNESS
There are moments like these that I begin to believe that my life has no purpose, no meaning, and that I was put here by mistake. It seems when I plunge through my misery to make it to the other side; the tunnel always becomes longer, darker, and I am afraid. Afraid that I will never see the light again.
It is for the saving of my soul that I must keep walking through this life of misery and pain. When will it all come to an end? When will my heart stop suffering as I plunge through the darkness? When will my soul be at peace? These questions haunt me, torment me, and I must walk alone...never knowing the answers.

CAME TO YOU

CAME TO YOU
written by me after my mama died (2006)

I came to you, heartbroken and alone. I took your hand in mine, warm to the touch. I assured you everything was going to be alright, even though my heart did not feel that same reassurance. I told you countless times that I loved you with all of my being, but even that didn't bring you to me. I lay with you, cried for you, laughed for you, trying to be strong for you. But in the end you still went away.

I came to your side once more. This time I was afraid, afraid of the unknown. You were so far away yet still there. This time your skin, cold to the touch. I wept for you, tried to hide my pain behind a mask, and felt such unbearable sadness. Why did you have to leave? Why did you leave me alone in the world?

I came to you again, but you were not there...